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November 18th, 2011


01:30 am
Happy birthday wherever you are.
I hope life sees you well.

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August 22nd, 2011


09:23 am - this city sleeps

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August 12th, 2011


03:25 am - screw you, "plankers"




Honestly I hate all this planking crap I see everywhere.
People say it's fun. Can't argue with that. Stupid fun.
Unimaginative and lame attempts that make you facepalm most of the time.

Mia Nakano, frontwoman for Davao City's Caitlyn Bailey was in town for a vacation from Japan.
It was also their final show as a band. Took them to some of my places in downtown Manila.
I was shooting stuff as well.

Somehow you want to try something ridiculously stupid at one point in your life,
but you want that stupid to be awesome a hundredfold and not just some lame one-off.
So, off to the ledge of the 22nd floor of a building in Escolta.
The skyline was beautiful. The dropoff was even lovelier.
Damn you Mia Nakano, I swore to myself I'd never do this.

People are still freaking over this.
I have to admit though, that the pictures came out beautiful. Not just because of a silly dare.
"Planking pala ha?!?" -Mia
Current Music: heaven in her arms

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July 24th, 2011


04:06 pm

I've been shooting more nowadays. Both work and non-work related.
More on the personal i-need-to-shoot-random-things.
Shooting from the gut. Like my life depended on it.
Getting back that sense of wonder for everything around me.

You see, my life kinda made strange turns this past year.
I learned and unlearned a lot of things. At points it drove me mad.
The feeling that you've lost everything has been a running theme.

I think what I've lost is greater than what I've gained.
At times it drives you rock-bottom. It changed me a lot.
Friends, acquaintances and workmates noticed.

So, I'm picking myself up. Photography saved me before.
I think it's helping me again. I just want passion and a sense of wonder.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. But that's good right?
I never was a fan of the "don't think, just shoot" school of thought.
Even when I do street shoots, everything becomes a meditation of sort.
Taking everything in and releasing everything, a catharsis of vision and thought.
I met someone whose photographs amazed and inspired me to put more love into the craft.
She's no pro, but the photographs she took were intelligent/cerebral/organic.
The pictures I always wanted to take.
So, thought, action, a way of seeing, a visual language.
I'm re-learning/unlearning constantly. I'm no better than anyone.
I'm not taking pretty pictures. Nor am I taking artsy shots.
It's just photographing things to keep me sane.
Exploring my love/hate relationship with the metropolis.

I really don't care whatever tool I have in hand. Film, digital, phone.
The other night I went around shooting streets til daybreak.
Accidents, empty spaces, light. Got harassed by local police.
Slept on the wheel.Almost died twice.
Continued to shoot til I shot the sunrise from a motocross course I sneaked into.
Mud on my shoes. It was all surreal, all beautiful. It felt wonderful.
I think it's all a release. Hoping that maybe I'll find meaning in this puzzle.

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May 14th, 2011


04:29 pm
it's hard to imagine a life without you.
wrong decisions were made.
deep down i want to find my way back.
or that somehow we both find our ways back.

of course things will never be the same. it always does.

but if you think otherwise, then i should bear it all, right?

man, this is difficult.
everything doesn't make sense.

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May 9th, 2011


03:33 am
Ever had that moment that you're dreaming of someone in your arms?
Then you wake up to find empty air. Spaces. Silence.
That feeling slipping through ether.

Yeah, that feeling.
The weather isn't helping at all.

That's keeping me up right now.
Coincidentally, Mono's Yearning is on the player.
A misplaced majesty.
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Mono

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March 10th, 2011


07:04 pm - serpent wind
we drove in the blinding light of the afternoon sun,

hazy and warm.

a confusion whispered quietly like a bomb

gentle like a knife lodging through the chest.

a reckless wind

a lost breeze

a sweaty palm to repel and attract/subtract.



the noise of the city

labyrinth of dirt

kingdom of the dead



until it is no longer the sky that blinds

but the headlights of oncoming cars

blur the peripheral.



the snake. the mongoose.



an irony.

cigarettes and hospital parking lots.

a wish to be deaf.

an emergency room a stones throw away

just in case of failure.



lead feet. the tragedy of sleep.



a reckless wind blows through the streets

the arteries of this metropolis.

caution, vultures abound.

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February 28th, 2011


05:41 pm
a nervous breakdown.

how to deal with this?

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February 27th, 2011


01:08 am - Best Records of '99
Ok, to distract myself from getting sad and stupid and all, I pulled out an old issue of AP.
They have a story about the best albums of '99 and I can't argue with the selection.

For some reason that year had the best releases ever. Most of those are still influential or have changed the musical landscape drastically. A lot of those are albums that have been stamped into my head and have become playlist staples. Huge chunk of these are personal favorites. I still have no idea how they managed to skip Trial's Are These Our Lives? But, then again, this is AP we're talking about, not MRR.
If Refused's The Shape of Punk to Come were released 3 months later, then that would be on top of the list. Then again, those boys from Umea, Sweden were years ahead of everyone else.

So here are some of those listed on AP's feature:

A New Found Glory - Nothing Gold Can Stay (Oct. 19)- pop punk at it's finest.
The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity (Sept. 28)- absolutely mind-boggling.
The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency & I (Oct. 26) - where would deathcab be without them?
The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About (Sept 21) - iheartyou TGUK... a constant companion for both falling in love and for heartbreak. can't beat that. Soundtrack to my life.
Hot Water Music - No Division (Aug. 10) - HWM saves lives and got me through hard times, I swear.
Jimmy Eat World - Clarity (Feb. 23) - such a brilliant brilliant brilliant album. goosebumps.
Poison the Well - The Opposite of December: A Season of Separation (Dec. 14) - love em or hate em.
Saves the Day - Through Being Cool (Nov. 2) - how can you not love them start to finish? painfully honest.
The Ataris - Blue Skies, Broken Hearts... Next 12 Exits - San Dimas High School Football Rules! Nuff said.
Bane - It All Comes Down to This - I still can't believe I was singing out loud 2 feet away from them sometime last year.
Grade - Under the Radar - singing then screaming over melodic hardcore songs? they did it first, kids.
No Knife - Fire in the City of Automatons - Angular!
NOFX - The Decline EP - Never was a huge fan, but this was a bold step.
Rainer Maria - Look Now Look Again - those lyrics!
Reggie and the Full Effect - Greatest Hits '84-'87 - Dewees is fantastic. Coalesce, The Getupkids, MCR. Keyboards!

---

So, there. What the hell were people doing that year?
Maybe because of the turn of the millenium?
Most of these releases are vital up to now. What are most people doing these days?
I don't wish for '99 to be back though.
That's not everything on AP's list, but a selection of what I could relate to.
Is there something else I'm missing?
Everyone must have their own personal favorites from that year.

----

On the heavier, more punk/hc side of things, I almost forgot that next to Trial's Are These Our Lives?, CATHARSIS' PASSION is probably the most thought-out, devastating, beautiful, poetic and crucial records of its genre. Innovative for the circles they played in and highly influential for anarchist hc/punk and beyond.
Current Mood: boredbored

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February 25th, 2011


11:27 pm
we're so damaged right now.
it's crazy how it got to this point.
a messed up mind, a messed up heart.
this is eating into work even.

fuck this. i have nothing left.

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